we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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