Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
