Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
