My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
