So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
