i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
