That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
