All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
