so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.