Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!