after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?