I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine