lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.