in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'