i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.