oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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