on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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