Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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