we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
