I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
