I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
