what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
