I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
