im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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