he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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