Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
