It's like God shit irony all over that family
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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