so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
