My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
