Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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