I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
