I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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