And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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