Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
