May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
