at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
and she was petting her beer can
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
