Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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