legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
