You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
