Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
