4 words: hood of his car
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize