I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
