I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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