bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
