that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
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I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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