Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
