I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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