We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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