So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
