We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
