Soap is not a condiment
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
