Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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