I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
