Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
