well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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