so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
