yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
