my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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