got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
