Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
