Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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