If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I smell stomach acid.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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