I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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