Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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