she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
